Futile

Today I sat down at my desk, found myself flicking through Facebook, clicked on a link about how the rights of children are being eroded on the quiet by a government intent on using the COVID-19 crisis as an opportunity to advance its deregulatory, liberalising agenda…

And all of a sudden I’m crying.  Wow, that came out of no-where, I hadn’t realised I was in the mood for crying.

I can’t cope with this.  There is just too much to fight.  It’s just another tiny example, but everywhere I look there are injustices that seem insurmountable.  And everywhere I don’t look, I know there’s even more.  So much injustice, so much suffering.  This crisis is being used as an exercise in mass brainwashing, as if that were needed, and a convenient excuse, a distraction, an opportunity.  Taking us further away than ever from an informed, functioning democracy.  While we stand on our doorsteps and clap.

I’m feeling powerless, pointless, defeated.

I haven’t cried for a while.  I’ve been feeling quite joyful.  Only because I have been disengaging, detaching from what’s happening, enjoying my life in my little bubble where everything is lovely.  Watching seedlings grow, noticing the flowers, enjoying the sunshine.

Presence, letting go, surrender.

I can’t decide if that’s no way to live, or the only way to live.

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